Information: Remember, every word will be held against you so answer carefully. Do not answer with invisible ink. Please answer these questions in alphabetical order.
1. What is your name? (No aliases accepted)
2. Do you think? If so, why? When?
3. Do you smoke, drink, go stepping, indulge in ski-jumping, or partake in any such form of dissipation?
4. Do you ever actually study?
5. Have any of your ancestors ever had any dangerous contagious diseases such as dandruff, halitosis, B.O.?
6. Do you always get up for breakfast?
a. Do you brush your teeth before or while eating?
b. Do you ever come late for meals?
7. Can you sing, dance, play music, basketball, or tag?
a. If so, who said you could?
8. When did you first feel the conversion to Kookooness coming on?
a. How did it affect you? b. Where?
9. If admitted, into this austere secret and exalted organization would you live up to its laws? Its by-laws? Tri-laws?
11. Are you sure?
12. Do you chew and masticate thoroughly your finger nails? (Justify your answer by means of the Epicurean philosophy.)
13. Honestly now, have you sworn off slapping prexy on the back?
14. Do you go to the bookstore for your mail or your female?
15. Are you kookoo? (Maybe, perhaps, and no are acceptable as answers)
16. Do you believe in letting your studies interfere with your extra-curricular activities? (Shame on you)
17. Are you a junior, senior, or a Norwegian? (If so, what part?)
18. Do you read, write, or wrong?
19. Define IT. (No other case of this pronoun permitted)
20. Has anyone ever viciously accused you of thinking? Cite one instance."